Day Three Of Progress

 So I was able to get a little bit more sleep last night than Monday night and I felt pretty good this morning.

The 2 glasses of wine that I was allowing myself turned into 1 and a quarter last night.  I had poured my second glass, taken a drink and then walked away for a while.  When I walked back into the kitchen, I saw it and reached for it, only to realize that I didn’t want it.  I’ve never been a huge fan of wine which is maybe why I picked it as the drink of choice to allow myself.  It hasn’t been that great of a temptation.  Anyway, I poured the rest of the glass down the sink and ate my dinner.

Was in bed reading and playing on my phone by 7:30 and turned out the lights when Hubs came to bed around nine thirty.

I’m pretty sure I dropped off around 11 or so and slept all the way through until my alarm went off at five.  Part of that is because Hubs had the day off and so I didn’t wake up to his alarm going off at 4:20 like usual.

I got up to pee at five and then ran back under the covers since I snooze my alarm until six.  As I was snuggling under the comforter I had this odd sensation of happiness, almost bordering on euphoria at the thought that I could just snuggle under the blanket for another hour.  Not hungover and desperate to get back to sleep like normal.  It was odd, but very welcome.

Had a pretty great day today not being hungover at work and wasn’t even that tired for only getting six hours of sleep.  Normally I pass out for six and then wake up in the middle of the night unable to get back to sleep until right before my alarm goes off.  And of course it is usually super drunk sleep so it feels like I got no rest at all.

Tonight the Hubs was at his dad’s helping him around the yard.  He had the day off and he took the dogs so it was just me, myself and I when I got home around three.  I’m not going to lie and say that the thought never occurred to me to slam a few shots of vodka before he got home just because he wasn’t here to see me do it.  —  And the truth is that he wouldn’t care if I did it while he was here or not, but there is always a “naughtiness” factor when he isn’t here.  Like I’m “getting away” with something.

Instead, I laid down in the bed and scrolled mindlessly though TikTok for about an hour before getting up and starting laundry, doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen a bit.

When he got home around five, I did pour myself a glass of wine and sipped it through the course of an hour.  I thought about pouring the second “allowed” glass, but decided I was actually more hungry for food so I put together a plate of the food he had brought home from his dad’s and ate that instead.

That brings us up to speed.  I just finished dinner and I think I might see if I can snag an ice cream sandwich from the freezer just to satisfy my sweet tooth.  I never seem to have want sweets except when I am actively trying not to drink and then I crave sugar quite a bit.

Anyhoo.  I feel pretty proud of myself so far.  I know it’s only been three days, but I feel really good.