Not the first time I've uttered those words when it comes to my trying to stop drinking, but I think I might be ready to try...if only for a week. I don't want to pressure myself into too much, that is when I buck back and resist.
I'm thinking of starting my week of sobriety on Sunday. I might even start on Saturday...we have a birthday party to attend for a two year old so that will occupy most of the day. And as I remember it, the first sober night is a BITCH to get to sleep so maybe it might be better to start on Saturday. That way I have more rest on Sunday so I'm not a total Zombie when I go back into work on Monday.
If I'm honest, that whole Sunday, day drinking thing will be VERY hard to resist...
The thing is, we have a thing coming up in February where we will be out of town and staying in a hotel for two nights. While staying in a hotel is always an even BETTER excuse to drink to me, I feel like I really want to try this as my first sober adventure.
It's part of my husband and I's 20 year anniversary present to each other (the actual anniversary isn't for months but we are breaking things up and celebrating throughout the year) and I know it would mean a lot to him if I didn't drink til I blacked out during the festivities.
Funny that.
So I need to start trying on these non drinking nights for size.
For some reason after this last month of seemingly drinking more than usual because I was thinking of quitting, I had an odd moment of clarity today.
Maybe it's all the sober journals I've been reading again, maybe it's because I've finally come off the withdrawals of the antidepressants I had been on for 20 years and tapered completely off several months ago (see a previous post that I'm not sure how to link), maybe it's just because I'm fed up with feeling like shit. Anxiety, depression and so many aches and pains both physically and mentally...
I'm not sure of anything...but tonight I feel a glimmer of hope and it's a lot more than I've felt in a while, so I will take it.
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