Today

So yesterday didn't work out as planned. Shocking, I know.

Hubs was at his Dad's helping him around the house and I opted to stay home. I needed to mentally prepare myself for not drinking by laying around in bed all morning playing Homescapes on my phone. ;)

I was doing okay...not great when he got home. I was preparing steps for my meal prep and only slightly wavering back and forth on whether I should drink or not.

I got the egg muffins all prepared and put them in the oven, feeling a bit smug if I'm honest that I was able to complete some sort of baking project without hitting the vodka. 

It was about that time that my husband told me that we were going to clean out the Tupperware cupboard. Actually, if memory serves, he said he was going to do it and asked if I wanted to help.
I panicked. I have NO idea why, but I shit you not, the thought of cleaning out and organizing all our containers sober was absolutely terrifying!! 

I pretended I was fine for the next half an hour (we weren't going to start the organizing until the muffins were done) and then told my husband I was probably going to drink...and did so.

My brain was searching so hard for something to make me give in to that bottle that it chose picking over beat up food containers to make me have a panic attack and give in. 

Writing this out now is literally making me shake my head at the stupidity of it, but I swear to you that it was an absolute real terror I felt at the thought of doing that sober.

I mean, if you could have seen the cupboard, you might KIND OF see why, but still...that is one of the stupidest excuses ever.

So I did drink yesterday, but not nearly the volume I usually do on a Sunday. Still more than anyone should in a given day, but no where near my usual weekend consumption.